Plot twist: I get in a really cute relationship that lasts. When a girl likes a boy.
So apparently, there’s this chick crushing on Neil. She admitted it on her blog. And it scares me that she’ll snatch him away. I mean, what’s so special about me, right? But then, he is coming all the way from New York, just for me. But she’ll have him closer, she’ll try to get closer. I feel like I can trust Neil, completely. But I don’t trust this girl. But I can’t get rid of how much this stresses me. I’ve never told him directly, but to be honest, I love him. I really do, the only reason I don’t tell him is because he’s so far away. I want it to be real, face to face when I do. But maybe one day, I’ll be able to stay. Close, a lot closer. I can’t wait till he comes in August. By how fast these weeks have been going by, i’ll have him, to officially be declared ‘his’. <3 Even though he already says ‘i’m yours’, it’ll feel a lot better in person.~ If that witch doesn’t try anything on him. Me: gets nervous a year before a planned event
Just a few features of my anxiety
Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you. Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg. Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit. Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am? |
